essential module.

surrender [suh-ren-der]
1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another.
2. to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.


ever struggled with surrender?
very rhetorical perhaps. (:

i don't think i've ever had to learn this lesson more than i have in the last couple of years. yet, i don't seem to have grappled half of the lesson. kinda like sitting in a lecture on semantics and not getting it even after you step outta the exam hall. (am i the only one?)

somehow, i have an inkling SRD1101E never quite ends. clearly, this is the reason i'm writing about this now. simply because surrender is the hardest module i've ever had to take.

in this class, we're not big on theory nor readings (phew!).
our tutor can't care less how much we know. head-knowledge really doesn't interest nor satisfy him.
application, however, grabs his attention. he really likes that. it's his mode of assessment for us.
and so, every-so-often, we get either a project or pop-quiz. and when he senses that we're getting complacent, he sends along the really challenging ones.

so far, i think i've only been rather average. i've passed a few big ones, but not without flunking just as many first. and i must admit, there've been days when i would shove the assignments aside and refuse to start on them.

honestly, this class has been mighty challenging. no other module has given me more restless days and sleepless nights than this one. no other module has made me analyse and think harder than this one. no other module has given me so much more to cry about than this one. no other module has made me realise how little i know than this one. it's true when they say 'the more you know, the more you realise you don't know.' no other module has given me more to be humble about than this one.

ironically, no other module has given me a deeper sense of satisfaction than this one. there's no telling that feeling of getting back a marked assignment with the words 'well done' scrawled at the top. (i would love for that to happen more though!) and whenever i messed a paper up, my tutor would go through it with me and allow me to re-do it. where else can you find tutors like this? (:

my really honest thoughts?
i don't relish every moment of being in this class. somedays i feel like pontanging. if it wasn't for the fact that it was essential, i would avoid it at all costs. it's no fun, really. and sometimes it gets really lonely. a lot of times, things just fly pass my head too.

yet, without this essential module, i wouldn't be able to do the higher level modules and i wouldn't be able to graduate...*gasp*

so, i've decided that since i gotta do it anyway, i might as well make the best of it. after all, it's really for my best. on top of that, my tutor's a really nice person and i know that his office is always open for consultation.



p.s. let me know if you're in this class too. we can have lunch together someday. (: