no good thing

I said to the Lord,
"You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing."

somedays, the desire for companionship (yes, you know what i mean) grows intense. other days, it wanes...because either the preoccupations of the day distract me, leaving me with little time to wonder (or wander...) or that i'm feeling quite content and satisfied with my current state of affairs.

but somewhere along the way, little distractions are dropped (i wonder by whom. could it be little tests from Him?) and my heart begins to wander again. and of course, when that happens, the desire intensifies.

this "difficult" morning, i gazed upon a post-it stuck on the cubicle wall of my workspace, just in front of me, with words from Psalm 16:2. it is a timely reminder from God, that apart from Him, i really and truly have no good thing.
nothing.
zilch.

at times i wonder how long this season of waiting will last. and yes, i hope quite often it'll end faster. yet, i recall that not too long ago, God convicted my heart that this season is a gift from Him, intended for Him to transform and refine me, and more than anything else, to teach me to look only to Him for everything. at the heart of it, God wants my complete devotion - it's between Him and i.

so, it shouldn't matter whether or not he comes, as long as He comes and makes Himself at home in my heart.

Having companionship, someone by my side, and yes, all the things i ever dreamed of having, will not satisfy the deepest recesses of my heart if You are not already there.
i don't want to abandon myself to my desires or plans, Lord.
i want to abandon myself to You.