thank You.

i feel a certain simple joy to be able to sit here, right now, in the cool of my room after a nice shower.
thank You (:

the week, though it hasn't quite come to an end yet, has been a somewhat eventful one. eventful in the sense of bordering on semi-dramatic (at least for me), but one that has borne precious lessons for me. lessons in grace, in love, in faith.

sometime mid-week, i was feeling very overwhelmed with the preparations for this weekend's worship service and contemplating the prospects of a very 'difficult' band situation arising from absent musicians, very last-minute drop-outs and difficult songs. and every band (or any sort of team) brings with it the inevitable 'work' of relating to people, which can be emotionally-draining. i found my frustrated self face to face with a giant i wasn't ready to fight. all the joy was taken out of the service, and with it i'd also thrown out love and trust.

but (as always and thankfully)
God wasn't ready to leave me that way. in fact, it seems He often brings me to the 'end' of the road just so i can recognise His sovereignty and grace. my Father is not saddistic; He just has a very difficult child (:

through the perceived impossibilities, He showed me He is in control.
by friday i'd become numbed to the bombshells dropped on me (resignation or divine inner calm?) and was wondering if i was under seige by the fiery arrows. in my resigned Oh-Lord-don't-know-how-liao-it's-Yours-take-it-please state, the stark reminder came. if God is for us, who can be against us? He wasn't just 'in control', He was for us.

He is for us.
forever for us.

i'd been looking with human eyes and perceiving with human wisdom. foolish me. had i forgotten Whom i am serving?

hence, my big lesson in faith and trust.


and i thank God for providing.
* a band of faithful people dedicated to Him and His glory
* a productive time of practice--with it had come understanding, patience and laughter.
* jie--passionate and skilful guitarist, plus faithful friend and brother. thank you, jie, for your gracious 'yes' even though we didn't understand why at first! for sticking it through with us and giving your all. it means a lot to me. (:
* precious individuals (mel, justin, a. annabel) who listened to me rant along the way, who prayed for me and who affirmed me. i thank God for each of you.
* help from frankie, to 'take care' of my cg while i was away at practice.
* cg members who give me their understanding and who have been so incredibly patient. thank you, each of you. it really really means so much to me.

i say this in gratefulness and awe of a God who can do much more than i can ever ask or imagine.


Thank You, Abba. Thank You.