He is bigger.

i could be crazy to be up at this hour, chewing on fruit & grain bread.
but i'm waiting for my hair to dry and i haven't had dinner.

i guess i need some sort of outlet and penning it kinda crystallises things for me.

shall attempt to keep this short and sweet.


in short, this day has been a very long one (knocked off at 11.40?). for the worser half of it, throw in semi-traumatic and fretful.

impending deadlines, last minute changes, fears that freelancers can't pull through and deliver, expectations... these things took centre stage in my mind. working with people (designers, illustrators, freelancers, multi-media people) also means things don't get moving as swiftly as desired. plus there's the emotional drain that comes with upholding tactful, grace-filled communication in very trying moments. i appear to have been a lot more fazed than my fellow colleagues, and wonder if i'm just freaking out. partly personality, also partly because i'm the editor overseeing the project--if it fails to deliver, the boomerang comes back around to me.

perhaps rising expectations and the drain of working on 'rescue missions' (my pet term for my projects), and tiredness have been slowly gnawing away and taking their toll within.


the worse half of the day came to a halt when i came before Him and placed it all down at His feet. i knew i needed to stop and be still before i broke down in frustration.


He met me with a timely word from Psalm 32, but not before He said I am bigger than all of this.

i broke down, asked for forgiveness and committed all again into His hands.


i am glad i did, and even gladder that His assurance came swiftly and gently.


Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"--
and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Selah

Therefore let eveyone who is godly pray to you
while you may be found;
surely when the mighty waters rise,
they will not reach him.

You are my hiding place;
you will protect me from trouble
and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Selah

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.



my God, you are bigger, so much bigger, than all of this.