this is probably the longest time i've been away from this blog since i started it, about a year back. and if i average the total number of entries i've penned, i'd say not too bad...nearly one entry per week (;
but yes, i'm so bad at this blogging thing--about the 20th or so time i've said it here--yet it only bothers me a little... and so these periodical updates, i hope, will suffice for all those who still faithfully drop by for a read. thank you, i really am honoured that u still visit. (:
my one and only major project for the year is finally coming to an end, leaving my hands for the bigger world, and hopefully, making inroads into the many young Singaporean lives whom i pray will benefit from their health ed lessons once a week. i've learnt much from this journey--some things about people, some about worklife and some about me. i won't say much about the people part, but i can say much about the me part. grin.
honestly, the introspection in me takes me down a rather painful path of self-realisation and acceptance at times. i've learnt that i can be really critical, spiteful and mean-spirited when i'm confronted with situations or people that a) i did not anticipate, b) i do not respect and c) i do not like. there is little grace to go around when i feel indignant or annoyed. and yes, often, i feel like i have a right to be indignant or annoyed (e.g. when people do not do the work that is rightfully theirs, or that i perceive that they are simply in for the benefit w/o the toil). it becomes awfully easy to ride on the wave of self-righteousness or 'principled' anger, and i start complaining a lot. yah, i'm also an avid complainer.
yet, despite all the complaining and mean-spiritedness, God's been patiently loving, gently chiding and chiselling away at those less desirable parts of me. of course, it's not to say i've become much nicer now (though that'll be really good), but perhaps more self-aware and less ungracious. i'll be needing this training..as the next season will be a more challenging one. new skills to pick up, more(?) work to juggle with, and increasing responsibility.
i'm only half looking forward to it..for now.
this has been a year of milestones, in a way, milestones for things to come. bigger things, it feels. things that may or may not re-define the way my life currently is. there are decisions to be made, responsibilities to fulfill, relationships to nurture (relationship
s, with more than just one), plans to make, a calling or destiny to rise up to. most certainly, prayers to be prayed.
it's mighty easy to let life slip away when you're 13, 18 or 22--the years ahead seem like many. somehow, turning 25 changes that perspective. this is not some sudden realisation, but a gradual one. and nothing crystallises it better than hitting a quarter of a century... or watching your parents grow older and tired more easily, your peers getting married or your sister having her 2nd child. i feel like i cannot keep on living as if there
will be a tomorrow.
it's time to slow down to think, seek, pray.
it's also time to get down to life.
