this might be a potentially depressing entry.
sigh. what a way to begin an entry after.....8 months of silence.
what would possess me to even post an entry at this hour, i don't know.
i was just back from work less than an hour ago.
and yes, this appears to be the pattern of my life now:
wake up - sit at loo and think - shower - dress myself and dress the lump on my leg* - sit on floor and pray - travel to work - work - work - work - work - travel home - shower - put cream on lump on leg
* the lump on my leg is a wound from an abscess that has taken too long to heal. it started off as an insect bite, which grew and grew till it was a lump of a 50cent coin. i got it lanced and drained (yes, very painful. and no, no anaesthetic), and that was in april. the long and short of it is that the wound hasn't healed well. i shall not delve into details here, but suffice to say, to the specialist i shall be going. please pray i find a good lump-on-the-leg specialist.
work is just...work. and more work.
this is just about the most challenging season of my work life ever since i started work. the sheer volume of work and 'complexity' of the current project i'm on, no thanks to the ministry of e, is really revving up the heat. and well, deadlines are dead...so there's no moving them. it has felt like a walk in the valley. i've woken up with my mind preoccupied with thoughts of work (sit at the loo and think part) and the seeming impossibilities of completion.
yet, and this is a big yet, the downside of things has only helped me experience the upside of being in God's company. i've had many reminders from Him that i'm not alone, and that the battles, while raging, are not mine to fight but His. is it easy to trust in Him when things look bleak? no, not really. not if i only choose to focus on the impending dates, yet-to-be manuscripts and countless other get-you-down things. but trust was never meant to be a circumstantial response, as i've learnt. rather, it has meant placing my entire weight on the One who created the universe and who is perfect in every way, and who certainly is the most ingenious Author, Editor, Designer and Publisher ever. just look at the Bible we hold today. and beyond the printed word we know, He is the One who
is the Word, and who can be trusted to fulfil the promises of yesterday, today and tomorrow with perfect precision and grace.
and, a walk in the valley is always a reminder that God is not quite done with me yet. He is in the business of refining, and He certainly isn't about to close shop on me. this is truly a season of character development and discipline. if i may say this, His allowance for difficult times in our lives will always be matched by His lavish outpouring of grace and loving-kindness.
and so, there is reason still to smile (and blog) in the storm, with a lump-on-the-leg.
this isn't so depressing after all :)
