the title
is literal.
yes, i did take a trip on sunday...and it wasn't to church or the bahamas. i made contact with the ground.
and i thought i'd better blog about my trip before the poignancy of the incident began to fade, which in my case often does because i take too long to get down to blogging.
but before i get on to sunday, i just wanna say that some things happening in the past 2-3 weeks have also filled my heart with poignant, bitter-sweet moments. to simply put it and for the lack of deeper words, it was an
emo time. but amidst the sting of uncertainty, disappointment, fear, hurt and doubt, God became very real. His call to trust in Him--His love, His goodness, His purposes, His timing--rang clearly in my heart. yet, should that have been a surprise? (: God has always been about the work of pursuing us, calling us unto Himself.
trusting can be hard. (anyone say amen to that?) and especially so when it involves the affects of the heart and the fulfilling of some preeeetty long-sought-after desires. but i think what is harder is staying trust-ful. what it takes for us
not to crawl off the altar after we've placed our sacrifices there... ;)
to summarise the lessons, before i forget about my trip:
* God is the God of impossibilities. with Him, im-possibilities turn into Him-possibilities.
* God can be trusted. He will fulfil His promises and deliver.
* God is patient and kind. He chooses to work in the most ordinary people, the cowards and faithless.
* Love is hard work.
and now. sunday.
the events of the evening had been rather traumatic. physically and emotionally.
a difference of opinion (somewhat minor, but still troubling at first) between justin and i had left me feeling rather sour as i made my way home. and so, i was longing for some think-time as i took my walk home, but not before i bought my dinner. so i got my food, then took the 10 min walk back.
upon nearing my estate gate, i found to my horror that my pouch holding my keys and handphone weren't with me..! it was a VERY bummer moment, considering that i was already very tired and drained. but no choice, so i turned back and took the long walk back to the coffeeshop, but not without feeling dumb and pathetic. my thoughts about the issue-at-hand thus took a halt as my mind turned to the possibility of lost phone, keys and ez-link card. at the zebra-crossing near JE central,
i had to stop for a speeding car which, when i stopped, had been at least 10m away. the fella didn't even care a hoot that i was waiting to cross. oh, the irony. after crossing safely, i shuddered at the thought that i could have been banged to pieces had i not first stopped to look out for wayward motorists. God's hand, surely.
so, what could be worse, i thought.
thankfully, i did retrieve my pouch from the stall where i'd bought my food. i took the same way back, and by this time, i noticed that the sky had turned a deeper hue of blue. beautiful, but not enough to soothe the bleahness of my soul. i wondered, what could possibly be the reason for all this happening?
when i finally made it into my estate, most light had gone and it was a serene quiet. i was relieved i was once again in safe terrain. in the clamour of my mind, i did notice a couple sitting on a bench a distance ahead, and that was about the last thing i saw. in a split second, my ankle felt a thud and i was on my hands and knees. the brutally rude shock had jolted me to life.
a few thoughts ran through my mind in the first second:
1. stupid. i had carefully stepped over this log in the morning!!! (obviously, i had clearly forgotten.)
2. how more pathetic can this evening get?
3. God, why is this happening to me...?
4. I love you still. (no, this wasn't from me to God. i think it was the other way round actually.)
the pain set in the next second. so i picked myself up and tried to make out the damage. the right knee was ringing with pain and there was a blood-red spot. the left knee was badly scratched. the twenty or so metres walk was painful and my tears began to fall. i mean, the evening couldn't have gotten any worse. plus, it was darker so i didn't really care.
i felt like a kid all over again. the falling down and picking myself up, then the tears falling.
i didn't have to say too much to my mom when i got in the house. she understood when she saw the blood flowing down my legs (ya, i never seen so much blood come outta my knee before.) i was visibly traumatised. the time spent in the shower was pretty much sobs and suds.
by the time i came out, my mom had already prepared the first-aid stuff--hydrogen peroxide and all. she made sure i was cleaned up and did not rub salt to injury by asking me how i could have been so careless. i thank God for Mommy, my human help in time of need.
and so, my knees were pretty banged up. now i've got an interesting purplish design on my left knee, but the right is not as pretty a sight, raw skin and all. but the upside is, i got a day's mc and got to spend time at home with mom on monday ;)
there were lessons to glean from my 'rude' trip.
* it's possible to get stumbled by our own thoughts. i mean, it was literal for me. i was so engrossed in thought i had completely missed the log, resulting in my fall (it was rather big actually. my mom had thought it was a 'twig' until she surveyed the stumbling log the next morning during her walk) but figuratively, it happens too. sometimes, we get so caught up in the muck of our own thoughts we fail to see what's happening around.
* falling down isn't such a bad thing. the pain of the fall had softened my hardened heart and broken my resistance to God's truth and change. i was more ready to come to Him that evening.
* we need to stay in the light of His truth to see the depth of brokenness and sin within us. after i had gotten up, i couldn't clearly see the damage done to my knees as it had gotten too dark. it was only after i'd entered the light of my home that i was able to see the damage for what it was. in the same way, i realised that i cannot clearly recognise the problems within my heart until i allow the light of His Word to shine through.
gosh, i've blogged enough to last me 6 months! but i'll be back sooner...
if you've made it this far, you deserve a packet of teh. let me know, i'll buy you one (:
