of mice and (long)man

i seem to have a knack for attracting pests in/to my food.

today at work, i attempted to have a healthy lunch. yoghurt with sunflower seeds --- in my opinion, a perfect blend of taste and texture. i usually pour some seeds into the yoghurt, give it a little mix and savour each spoonful. so the packet i had eaten from today was actually a half-pack left from last week. i had left it on my desk for a day or two, and before leaving for the CNY break, had tucked it into a drawer, to protect it from nocturnal scavengers. yes, they run free in my office.

i had taken a good 5-7 mouthfuls of what i thought to be a very delectable lunch. until....i saw this.

imagine my horror when i saw the hole gaping in my face! no points for guessing what annoying creature might have done this. you gotta look closely if you don't see the hole. and no, it wasn't the work of a cockroach. i don't get grossed out easily. but, that really did it.

i felt really indignant for not having seen the hole, which as rightly pointed out by evan, my colleague with whom i shared the horror, was well-hidden from sight if the packet wasn't lying flat. we reckoned, since the pack had been in my drawer for the past few days, the rat/mouse thing must have bitten the hole before that, while it was still on my desk! EEEEEwwwwwwWWWW! to think i ate some seeds from the packet!

I shudder at the thought.

now, to provide some context to this, and hence to make myself look even stupider, i must add this. the rodent problem is not new. at my previous workstation on the 1st floor, my room had been some mouse's playground and bathroom. it bit into my brand new cornflakes chocolate block and peed and poop all over our desks. but we got the pestman to come and he trapped the little culprit. so all has been silent for 8 or so months till a few weeks back, when we noticed poop on our desks upstairs. (i've since moved back up.) and you ask, why the heck then did i leave my poor pack of sunflower seeds on the desk as an innocent offering to the roaming rodents?

sigh.

as i mentioned, i seem to attract pests in my food. here's why i think so:

housefly in my shui-jiao noodles. 2 weeks ago.

(after i had practically devoured the entire plate!)

the noodle aunty gave me a full refund, which to be honest, i wasn't too thrilled about. and perhaps i just might find $1.46 (cost of yoghurt + seeds) on my desk tomorrow morning, with a note of apology signed off with 'the longman mouse'.

oh, save me.

of blogs and thoughts

i was just 'springcleaning' this blog and noticed that most of my linked friends who kept blogs no longer do so. what's left are those who made their last entries a year or less ago. yes, a year. i'm hopeful. if i can resurface after 9 months of silence, anyone else can too. (:

it's no wonder though, why people stop blogging. it takes considerable effort. for me, at least it does --- measuring the weight of each word, and questioning continually if what i write actually makes for good reading. i have often typed an entry, only to save it as a draft (and never revisit it) because i wasn't satisfied with it. not a bad thing, perhaps. some things are just better left...unsaid.

to me, blogging is an exercise in self-reflection and often, self-censorship. it forces me to think about what has happened in my life lately, what thoughts and emotions i've carried with me and why i want (or do not want) to share some of those things online. on many occasions in the past, i had wanted to blog, but decided against it after moments of mulling --- too much to say? too little to say? too stupid to say? too bo-liao to say? too complicated to say? too private to say? too tired to say... So, nothing to say.

i suspect my introspection gets the better of me.

or perhaps, it's just my self-consciousness.

i think i've a very heightened sense of self-consciousness. which is why i don't like to post unless i'm convinced my posts are actually meaningful and well... well-crafted. it's gotta look 'perfect' so people think the best of me! there, i've said it.

and i wonder now where this blogging exercise has taken me... :] well, my current conclusion is this: i gotta let myself go a little, breathe a little easier, and just enjoy the blogging act itself. if it allows people, such as you, to get a glimpse into who i really am, it may be well worth it.

so, if i may try to put this a little more poetically...

every post is a journey.

every word will take me from one thought to the next.

i would have travelled, and hopefully, glimpsed a clear-enough path into the road ahead.

starting & stopping

It's terribly hard to start again at something... once you've stopped.

My exact sentiments about blogging, really.

But I'll start with something simple, perhaps trivial.

So, 10 things I'm happy about:

1. CNY

2. The looong weekend, thanks to CNY

3. The ang-baos I'll still receive despite the fact that I'm past toddler-hood and adolescence

4. Work is manageable. For now.

5. Just looking at Am & Meg's store of photos on my computer. Such cutie nieces I have!

6. Baby Drew -- my new nephew

7. I baked today.

8. I've resumed knitting a fuchsia scarf that was neglected for 6 months.

9. I get to sleep in air-con.

10. I'm blogging.

I should sleep now. Goodnight world (: